Mostra notizie nelle discussioni
  • Avatar
    Scritto da
    Non Autenticato
    il 2009-10-19 18:03:00.0 alle 2009-10-19 18:03:00.0
    Internet mi ha dato la risposta.
    There's a difference between "I love you", "I'm attracted to you", and "I need you". Only the latter is a problem in your situation -- the neediness. That's where the anxiety and self-doubt and insistent wanting are located.

    Probably the most common malfunction of love is that we think we need someone else to make ourselves complete. When that happens, we lose track of ourselves and go into a strange mode where we MUST have someone else to be OK. This never works out, even it the target of your affections is responsive, simply because nobody else can make you whole. Life just doesn't work that way, you have to provide your own wholeness.

    So this is what makes her uncomfortable: the neediness. She knows she can't be true to herself and solve that problem for you at the same time, and to be around it is a strain because she's aware of "depriving you" of what you need. She's your tormentor, in effect.

    By contrast, if you are just smitten with her but don't need her to return the favor, and she senses that, it's flattering without being stressful. Can you do that? Probably not without some re-working of your own ideas of who you are. But it can be done.
    • Avatar
      Scritto da
      Non Autenticato
      il 2009-10-19 18:06:00.0 alle 2009-10-19 18:06:00.0
      Re: Internet mi ha dato la risposta.
      There is a difference between infatuation and love for someone... Unless you lived with her and been around her a long time to know how she really is, you can't say love really...

      There is no real way to deal with it... Men get infatuations a lot, desire, hormonal influences towards their sex appeal...

      Find another girl to channel this to that wants you just as much...


      /q_view/1450155 Occhiolino
    • Avatar
      ☺
      Scritto da
      Caccola
      il 2009-10-19 19:04:00.0 alle 2009-10-19 19:04:00.0
      Trollate totali: 4459
      Re: Internet mi ha dato la risposta.

      - Scritto da:
      > There's a difference between "I love you", "I'm
      > attracted to you", and "I need you". Only the
      > latter is a problem in your situation -- the
      > neediness. That's where the anxiety and
      > self-doubt and insistent wanting are
      > located.
      >
      > Probably the most common malfunction of love is
      > that we think we need someone else to make
      > ourselves complete. When that happens, we lose
      > track of ourselves and go into a strange mode
      > where we MUST have someone else to be OK. This
      > never works out, even it the target of your
      > affections is responsive, simply because nobody
      > else can make you whole. Life just doesn't work
      > that way, you have to provide your own
      > wholeness.
      >
      > So this is what makes her uncomfortable: the
      > neediness. She knows she can't be true to herself
      > and solve that problem for you at the same time,
      > and to be around it is a strain because she's
      > aware of "depriving you" of what you need. She's
      > your tormentor, in
      > effect.
      >
      > By contrast, if you are just smitten with her but
      > don't need her to return the favor, and she
      > senses that, it's flattering without being
      > stressful. Can you do that? Probably not without
      > some re-working of your own ideas of who you are.
      > But it can be
      > done.

      Bastava leggersi "Eros e Pathos: margini dell'amore e della sofferenza" di Aldo Carotenuto.
      • Avatar
        ☺
        Scritto da
        avvelentani
        Cubicolario
        il 2009-10-19 19:08:00.0 alle 2009-10-19 19:08:00.0
        Trollate totali: 18184
        Re: Internet mi ha dato la risposta.

        - Scritto da: Caccola
        >
        > - Scritto da:
        > > There's a difference between "I love you", "I'm
        > > attracted to you", and "I need you". Only the
        > > latter is a problem in your situation -- the
        > > neediness. That's where the anxiety and
        > > self-doubt and insistent wanting are
        > > located.
        > >
        > > Probably the most common malfunction of love is
        > > that we think we need someone else to make
        > > ourselves complete. When that happens, we lose
        > > track of ourselves and go into a strange mode
        > > where we MUST have someone else to be OK. This
        > > never works out, even it the target of your
        > > affections is responsive, simply because nobody
        > > else can make you whole. Life just doesn't work
        > > that way, you have to provide your own
        > > wholeness.
        > >
        > > So this is what makes her uncomfortable: the
        > > neediness. She knows she can't be true to
        > herself
        > > and solve that problem for you at the same time,
        > > and to be around it is a strain because she's
        > > aware of "depriving you" of what you need. She's
        > > your tormentor, in
        > > effect.
        > >
        > > By contrast, if you are just smitten with her
        > but
        > > don't need her to return the favor, and she
        > > senses that, it's flattering without being
        > > stressful. Can you do that? Probably not without
        > > some re-working of your own ideas of who you
        > are.
        > > But it can be
        > > done.
        >
        > Bastava leggersi "Eros e Pathos: margini
        > dell'amore e della sofferenza" di Aldo
        > Carotenuto.

        l'hai letto prima di sposarti?
        I think happiness is love
        - Vladimir Putin
        • Avatar
          ☺
          Scritto da
          Caccola
          il 2009-10-19 19:25:00.0 alle 2009-10-19 19:25:00.0
          Trollate totali: 4459
          Re: Internet mi ha dato la risposta.

          - Scritto da: avvelentani
          >
          > - Scritto da: Caccola
          > >
          > > - Scritto da:
          > > > There's a difference between "I love you",
          > "I'm
          > > > attracted to you", and "I need you". Only the
          > > > latter is a problem in your situation -- the
          > > > neediness. That's where the anxiety and
          > > > self-doubt and insistent wanting are
          > > > located.
          > > >
          > > > Probably the most common malfunction of love
          > is
          > > > that we think we need someone else to make
          > > > ourselves complete. When that happens, we lose
          > > > track of ourselves and go into a strange mode
          > > > where we MUST have someone else to be OK. This
          > > > never works out, even it the target of your
          > > > affections is responsive, simply because
          > nobody
          > > > else can make you whole. Life just doesn't
          > work
          > > > that way, you have to provide your own
          > > > wholeness.
          > > >
          > > > So this is what makes her uncomfortable: the
          > > > neediness. She knows she can't be true to
          > > herself
          > > > and solve that problem for you at the same
          > time,
          > > > and to be around it is a strain because she's
          > > > aware of "depriving you" of what you need.
          > She's
          > > > your tormentor, in
          > > > effect.
          > > >
          > > > By contrast, if you are just smitten with her
          > > but
          > > > don't need her to return the favor, and she
          > > > senses that, it's flattering without being
          > > > stressful. Can you do that? Probably not
          > without
          > > > some re-working of your own ideas of who you
          > > are.
          > > > But it can be
          > > > done.
          > >
          > > Bastava leggersi "Eros e Pathos: margini
          > > dell'amore e della sofferenza" di Aldo
          > > Carotenuto.
          >
          > l'hai letto prima di sposarti?

          No, altrimenti non mi sarei sposato! In lacrime
<softv>

Pagina generata in 52 millisecondi

Utenti attivi: 11 nell'ultimo minuto, 25 negli ultimi cinque minuti, 46 negli ultimi 15 minuti